Marriage dating age differences


28-Jan-2018 05:20

After spending a few days trying to adjust to the fact that the handsome co-leader of my small group was seven years my junior, I had just realized that he was actually eight years younger!

A question I receive often is, "How did you make the decision to date and marry a younger guy?

I guess it was because I'd heard two or three stories of the woman being seven years older, so I'd sort of decided that was the outer limit of age difference acceptability. (And I would hit 31 a month before his next birthday.) Feeling defeated, I sat at the small wooden table in Starbucks, where I was meeting Kevin for the first time since my startling discovery. In case you're wondering, I married that guy eight months later.

I don't know why this one year made such a difference to me.

"Things may be good now, but think 10 years down the road," he says. " Wooten's own father was 17 years older than his mother.

'" Leah also worried she might not always be able to meet Travis' physical needs and wondered if he might one day regret marrying an "old woman" who couldn't keep up with all of his activities.

"I had surpassed him in some areas — I had been in the workforce for 12 years when we met and held leadership positions in church." I had similar concerns when I met Kevin.

From our first conversation, I could tell he was very mature for his age. Once I learned his actual age, I was concerned that he might not be ready to settle down and have a family, when I definitely was.

The problems we were talking through — for example, what if someday our sex drives didn't match up? We were just going to be more proactive about them.

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The bigger question was whether or not God was drawing us together. Travis was also tentative when he first developed feelings for Leah.

She and Paul married anyway, and over time the difference in maturity dissipated. While I don't think it's important to adhere to an arbitrary formula when considering age in a potential relationship (interestingly, when I met Kevin our age difference was exactly this ratio), I think it can be a good rule of thumb to help you consider if your relationship is appropriate.



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