Dating after being widowed young
A couple of cautions: 1) Your family and friends will be at different stages of “ready for you to date” than you are.
Taking their feelings into account is good, but don’t forget that they have their own lives to mind and should leave the minding of yours to you. Try to avoid a revolving door of dates where underage kids are concerned.
Often, they are dealing with guilt, feeling as though they’d be betraying the spouse or the marriage, and that has to be healed.
One way to heal it is to acknowledge it and grant yourself permission to live your new life.
The question comes up a lot among widowed and those who are interested in dating them – how soon after the death of a spouse is it considered appropriate to begin dating/or pursuing? Other widowed people like to trot out the tired cliché – It’s such a circular and unhelpful answer that I’d like to ban the phrase from the grief lexicon because given the minefield of rules and expectations surrounding widowhood, asking is the only way to clarify whether the signals you are receiving from your peers, family and friends are about your welfare or their self-interest. Scarlett knew the rules on widowed decorum because society at that time spelled it out. It may have sucked, but everyone was clear on the time frame and waited (while perhaps discreetly lining up suitors for once the deadline had passed). Younger widowed date and remarry sooner, and at higher rates, than older ones.
She found a companion, he was long-distance, and there was sex involved.