Dating someone much younger than you
I’ve crossed paths with other older men, too, in the past year or so: some I merely corresponded with; some I met in person.
I’ve discovered how world-weary and bitter they can be, desperate to offload their emotional baggage on any female who will listen.
The chubby, balding civil servant in his early 50s who contacted me would not normally be someone I’d meet up with, but he messaged me in such a witty and eloquent way that I agreed to meet him for tea.
His company amused me, so when he later invited me to his house so he could cook me dinner, I accepted.
Mature women nowadays are all too aware of the importance of taking care of the face, hair and body, and of dressing well in order to hold the interest of the opposite sex. The balance of power has shifted and this seems to confuse a lot of 55-plus men, even the successful ones. Those cute, fit young guys I encountered during my wild year of online dating are for ever etched in my mind.
Why don’t older men think the same rules apply to them? Older men don’t seem to know how to conduct themselves around women. They don’t know whether they should pay for your dinner, or whether it’s OK to compliment you on your legs. They have made it tricky for me to find older chaps attractive, and believe me, I have tried. I saw him for dinner a few times until it became apparent that he wanted to take things to the next level: the bedroom.
At 65, my date (I’ll call him Jerry) was a few years older than me.
Used to the notion of equality between the sexes, they are more spontaneous and natural. The end of our dates became increasingly awkward, with me trying to slip away politely without any smooching.
He also suffered from a bad back, which gave him an old man’s gait.
The thought of being intimate with him repulsed me.
Shuffling self-consciously in his seat beside me at the cinema, I sensed that my date was about to make his move.
I wasn’t sure whether he’d do the awkward arm-stretch-behind-my-chair manoeuvre, or ‘accidentally’ brush his thigh against mine.
In my view, today’s middle-aged British men are rather lost at sea.